Things that make me uncomfortable...I mean really!

Things that make me uncomfortable… I mean really!

Alright it’s official. I have now been in Samoa for a whole year. It is a very odd feeing to have people from the new peace corps group (which came last Wednesday) say to me, “I can’t wait to get to the point you are at now where you are so relaxed and know what’s going on.” Well, I have to say that was news to me that I was in the know. Apparently I am good at look cool, calm, and collected…who knew? At any rate, I was pondering my new status of “senior volunteer” in Samoa the other day on the bus, as there is nothing else to do on the bus but ponder meaningless things, and I began to think about how, even though I supposedly look under control to new peace corps volunteers there are still quite a few things in this country that make me a bit...well…uncomfortable. Now don’t get me wrong I am sure I do many things that make the people of Samoa feel a bit squimish…I can’t think of what but I am sure there is something. At any rate, this blog is not meant to be culturally insensitive by any means because I really do love this place (it’s a freaking tropical island what’s not to love?!), but there are just a few things, cultural differences if you will, that make me feel a bit uneasy and I thought maybe some of my devoted readers (thanks mom!) would find some humor in some of the predicaments I have found myself in over the past year due to these certain differences. So here goes…
1) Creepy crawlies- I’m talking specifically about centipedes, cockroaches, and rats all of which have tried at length to snuggle with me at some point and I just don’t find anything romantic about this. Actually just this week I felt something tickling my hip in the early hours of the morning just as the sun was coming up. I was barely conscious, but I pulled down my sheets and hoisted up my boxer shorts to take a closer look and out leaps (I kid you not, it jumped) a gecko. I mean really! Although the geckos might be better looking than the rats, centipedes, and cockroaches I still don’t really want them playing around my…well…you know, in the early hours of the morning. The centipedes in particular are probably the most vial creature I have ever encountered. Now I hate snakes, luckily there are none here, but centipedes make up for it. Imagine a creature about the size of a small snake or about 6-8 inches, but it has hundreds of legs enabling it to move faster than let’s say a human with only two legs. Oh and there poisonous. And ugly. Gross.
2) Lice- Ok the lice themselves don’t bother me (I actually have not yet housed the little guys but some girls have donated their heads to these little suckers to hang out in 6 or 7 times), it is the matter in which many Samoans dispose of these little mites. I had heard rumors of this process, but did not believe it until I was witness to the de-licing of a child just recently. So a woman sits behind a child and slowly and meticulously inspects each and every strand of the child’s hair. When they find a little white mite they don’t simply dispose of it but they eat it. That’s right. They mush it against their teeth to crack the heads off and then they swallow. Now that is one way to do it and I am sure there is nothing wrong with it if you have been doing it all your life, but personally it makes my stomach groan in protest.
3) Fish food- I love the fact that living next to the ocean I eat fish at least once a day. And it is good fish. I also love the fact that when I eat lunch at school we don’t use silverware. Especially since the fish is usually cooked whole and you have to get all the bones out yourself. What I can’t seem to get use to the parts of the fish the teachers at my school seem to view as a delicacy. I know they must think I am mentally unstable for only picking out the white meaty part and then discarding the rest of the fish as trash, but that’s what we do in America, make waste. And I do applaud the fact that nothing is wasted from their fish including the liver, heart, gills, eyes, brains, and even the scales, although I have to admit I still have to avert my eyes when this is taking place because my stomach thinks this is not at all funny. The part that makes me most uncomfortable about these little lunch time culinary adventures is the sucking out of the fish eyeballs and then sucking the brains of the fish through the eye sockets. I just can’t seem to get used to that. To my credit though, I did try mahi-mahi eggs this weekend. Not bad. I had to turn down the heart though which everyone thought made me weak. Its all yours guys.
4) Baby food- So you don’t really see much Gerber’s baby food around these parts, but Samoans clearly make do as they are some of the strongest people I have ever encountered. One method, which I have witnessed in Tafatafa, of feeding children who lack teeth (some children’s baby teeth have rotted out due to a very sugary diet) is very similar to a mama bird feeding her babies. A Samoan mother will take a cookie or cracker and chew it up and then bring her child’s mouth up to her mouth and transfer the now chewed cookie or cracker. Oddly enough this doesn’t really make me uncomfortable any more I think because it makes sense. Its not like there are blenders around here, might as well do it yourself.
5) “Hey Baby”- So many, many, many soles (a sole is a Samoan man between the ages of 15-50) think that the most persuasive and attractive pick up line to white girls is “Hey Baby!” I really wonder what these guys think I am going to do. I mean I am in the middle of running around town (this would never happen in my village because I know everybody and the boys in Tafatafa are very respectful and treat me like a sister) with a million things to do and then some scetchy looking dude yells “Hey Baby!” Oh yes! Let me just drop everything I am doing so we can run to the closest church, get married, and then I can start having your children. I mean really!